Keep Holding on!

Please keep holding on, when you feel like letting go.
You might feel alone today but friends will be here soon.
Just keep your heart beating. Keep yourself open to love.
The worst thing in the world would be to close yourself off to love,
right before it has the opportunity to find you. I know its hard.
I know it seems like there is no way out, but please oh please don’t give up.

Today was a really good day. I painted my face in the front of the public. They stopped to watch mesmerized as if I was revealing an extremely private secret. I wonder if its such a good idea to give away the mystery like that. Not everyone will get the chance to see behind the make-up. Some will have stumbled accidentally upon this silver painted man once it was already fully constructed. It seems like the audience filters through almost every 15 minutes, probably even more often than that. A new little crowd of ten to twenty fans. Sometimes its amazing to see nearly fifty people surrounding me in such a small corridor of a subway station. Its funny to think about, considering a perfect stranger as a fan. After all this fan probably didn’t even know I existed before they discovered me. When it comes down to it, they are the ones funding me. I wonder if they know that this is how I pay my bills. Sharing with them all of my joy as they share with me a kind blessing. Today someone gave me a $20 tip. I had no idea who it was. They did it quietly, in a way it could have been secretly, so as not to be noticed by anyone. There was certainly no show of their gift. They just wanted to bless me. And I like to believe its because I blessed them too. Some people can’t afford that much and I understand. I never expect anyone to share more than a dollar, I guess when I think about it, I don’t expect anything from anyone. I’d like to say one of my expectations is for a little decent respect, but in all honesty, I’ve come to expect a small dose of disrespect on daily basis. Not everyone is going to understand why I do this, I’m still struggling to make sense of it myself. It’s a big leap of faith, and even though success on monetary level might make things seem easier, its really much more than that. Money isn’t the most valuable thing someone can share with you. Its important not to get overwhelmed by the need to make money. You might get so consumed by making dollars that you forget about making friends. Its important to see the human giving not the amount being given. I’ve learned that ignoring a penny can lose you a dollar. As a performer you have to give yourself wholeheartedly to everyone, especially the children. Its not their fault, they don’t understand money yet. And what a beautiful thing that is. Moms and Dads love to watch their children overflowing with joy, making joy available to the rest of us even when we get blinded to its amazing power. And I consider myself to be one of the luckiest people I know because I get to experience that joy from the front row every day I go out performing.

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